Driving Miss Daisy

Last week's agility lesson was eye opening. I finally 'got it.' I need to make play/tug times an "event," and I am now seeing success in my play with Daisy. However, Monday I was ready to throw in the towel. I could not get Daisy to play on Sunday or Monday. She stood in the crate and wouldn't exit. By the time Ed got home from work, I was literally in tears. I contemplated selling my agility equipment and trying for pet therapy instead. I emailed Stacy for some suggestions, and she said don't fret - hang in there. Well, Tuesday was MUCH better and Wednesday my Jane Savoie books arrived, talking about using imagery and acting "as if" you are whatever it is you are striving for. I am determined to be successful, and I am going to start putting to action the imagery to build my confidence. I am finally starting to have fun again, and my goal is to have mastered building the drive in Miss Daisy by November's Gregg Derrett seminar!

One year later - what a difference!

Carol, our CEO, knows how to say "thank you" in my own (Poodle) language! These flowers were delivered the day after our Hospice survey concluded. To say Carol has impressed me is a gross understatement. She is absolutely wonderful. I consider her both friend and mentor, as well as "boss."

Things are going well in other areas of work as well. The team is coming together, and we're having FUN!

Almost there!

What an agonizing couple of weeks it's been. First off, Ed left for Europe June 20th. He spent the first week in Claumel, Ireland, and then flew into Holland to be with his mom. His trip was depressing - no company in Ireland, and his mom was understandably depressed, having just lost Ken just a week before Ed flew out of the country. Ed's mood has been somber when I've spoken to him, and I have been in quite a funk myself. It has been nearly intolerable without him. It's scary thinking about how bland and boring my life would be if I lost him. He is my best friend and that was never more clear than when he left this time. I guess the difference is I used to be so busy with the dogs and rescue, and without that enormous commitment hanging over me, zapping the life out of me, I really feel alone when he's not here.

Things at work have been interesting. Challenging but very good at the same time. Fired my IT Manager for failing to pass his drug screening (should have been pre-employment, but was delayed), and the Hospice director quit. Yahoo! That brought some interesting dynamics, but we have weathered the storm and things are looking up. C is AWESOME. I am constantly impressed by her leadership style, her insight, her connections, the respect she has from both the board and leaders in the community. We are blessed, but most of all, I am blessed. She has made my life manageable and I again love my job.

Okay, I am happily on the way to the airport to pick up Ed. Oh yes...I've lost 10+ lbs! I'm now down to 149.5, and I'd gotten up to 163 at my peak. Still losing - want to get to 140-145. Almost there!

It's just life

Where to start? It seems like an eternity since I've really blogged.

Monday Henny called to let us know that Ken died. Ed already is scheduled to fly out to Dublin on Friday with a trip to visit his mom the following week. It was a blessing in so many ways how it all worked out - Ken died peacefully in Henny's arms at home, most likely due to stroke. She sounds like she's holding up okay. It was very serendipitous Ed is already going to be there in a matter of days. I'm sad for Ken of course, but this was a long time coming with all his health problems and in and out of the hospital non-stop.

Since I'd been pre-occupied with our financial status, Ken's death was a "wake-up-and-smell-the-roses" sort of event for me. We've sunk into the hole with our many home improvement projects. Starting with Peter's house, finishing our yard, installing the solar and buying down the loan, and a multitude of other smaller projects that have nickled and dimed us to death. This past weekend I did a proposed budget, and basically we need to focus on our bills for the next 24 months. No vacations, minimize all eating out, etc., and we should be pretty much debt free by Fall 2010, with the exception of our mortgage and my car payment. While it seems a little disappointing to not be able to take our weekend getaways or fly anyway, at the same time it is such a blessing. I love being home, and everything I want is right here. We have our own paradise right in our yard, pool, grass, garden areas, and my DOGS! What more can I want?

Things are excellent at work. D turned in her resignation on Monday, resolving one potential very large problem that I'd have when taking the COO position in the Fall. In addition, C is going to supervise LC, so that is resolved as well. Things should flow fairly smoothly when I take on my title/position.

Lastly, our agility training is so much fun. Daisy & I are learning so much together. We're bonding and she LOVES the training sessions at Stacy's, even doing "zoomies" now. I'm also learning how to turn her on at home. There's hope!

Progress

Well, I decided I do not want to be fat and have decided it is time for a CHANGE! I actually got up to 162 lbs, and am now down to just under 157. My clothes already fit better, and I'm starting to exercise on our newly purchased treadmill as well.

Things are going well with our agility training too. Daisy is doing well, and I'm really learning!

Fat, Forty & The Whole Darn Thing!

Here I am, 43, almost 44, and feel like I’m getting UGLIER by the day! To save on time, I cut my short hair even shorter, have the permanent make up and for all intents and purposes, wearing little else that is applied. The bad part, though, is my weight issue. I never thought *I* would have one, but I do. 159.1 lbs of problem. Moaning and whining doesn’t seem to make me lose weight, so I guess I will need to get motivated to 1) control my eating and 2) exercise (what a dirty word!).

On the agility front, I’ve officially decided Chloe is just going to be a happy pet, a couch POO-tato as someone said! She hates what should be fun foundation games, and is now rolling over on her back and refusing to play with me. She is introverted and no matter what I do, I’m not going to change her personality. Making her be social and play in public is like expecting me to want to make new friends at a bar. Ain’t gonna happen. In the meantime, however, Daisy is turning out to be a natural at the play games. I think she will be a great agility partner, so our private session with Stacy tomorrow will just be the two of us. I am so anxious to get started again!

It's a blessed life with dogs!

We've had a very bittersweet couple of weeks. On April 6th, we lost Seamus who was presumed to have hemangiosarcoma. He started bleeding internally and we had him put to sleep at the emergency clinic that Sunday afternoon. His ashes are now back with me, in the hutch with the other precious dogs we've lost through the years. There have been many other deaths locally and on my mailing lists, and the week really took it's toll on me. On Friday I was worn and we decided to head to San Diego with Scooter and Chloe to just get away. The picture on the left was the W Hotel.

Through all of this, I've realized how much the dogs pick up on my emotions. I was practicing agility, but more out of obligation. Chloe was NOT interested at all. She saw right through my fake energy/excitement. After a few days I realized the problem - she knew i didn't really want to play, so she didn't want to either. These dogs are so incredibly in tune to me. I love how I have an entourage wherever I go - five poodles and a golden who follow me everywhere!

Two other updates - I'm likely switching agility instructors. Cindy is ok, but WAY TOO FAST. She is already having us play games and we don't even know the terminology, the crosses, hardly anything. Chloe hates class and doesn't like to even get out of the car when we arrive. It finally hit me that this is not right. So I consulted with a trainer in Vista that was recommended by a gal on the mailing list, and have a private session for Saturday. Yippee! Stacy is very well known through the US and also writes for Cleanrun. I'm excited!

Also today I had permanent makeup applied - eyeliner. Can't wait to see what it looks like after the swelling goes down!