Number Nine and WE'RE FINISHED!!

Saturday was a HUGE day for me. January 26th, 2008 marks the end of an era. I adopted out three of the four rescue dogs - the "rats," Emma and Lacey, who were darling little Toy Poodles I'd had for 8 months, and then a bichon named Remy/Scooter. That just left Lola, a now 1 year old Standard I've had for four months (she was only 10 months when she came to me in September). I could NOT leave her to cry and whine in the kennel, so in the house she came. I assured Ed she would NOT be staying. Less than two hours into it I knew I could never trust anyone with her and there was no way I could let her go. Uh-oh.

So, yesterday Ed & I had a talk. I acted like we were definitely keeping Lola (whom we renamed Daisy) and he said, 'you've got to be kidding!' Which was quickly followed up with I'm going to have to think about that. Less then a 1/2 hour later Ed opened the discussion by saying he would let me keep Daisy provided I do not pet sit, foster, or otherwise have other dogs on the property until we are down to three dogs. (Like that will happen - Daisy is No. 9.) So.......I am now the proud Mommy of not just one but TWO Standard Poodles! and I didn't ever think I'd find ONE that would do well with my small dogs! Daisy is so good with them, so submissive and just a wonderful, gentle girl.

I cannot emphasize enough what a relief it is to have the kennels officially closed up. I basically put "we're closed" on the web page and I am DONE, DONE, DONE, DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Wonder of it All

At times I look at my pack of dogs and am simply overfilled with emotions. When I am with them, suddenly problems that looked so enormous are put into perspective. I have peace and a sense that my life is GOOD! I can have a horrible day at work, come home, and all the stress melts away when they wag their tails and jump for joy that I’m home. I’m the center of their universe, and they are mine. It is good when –

• I get out of the shower to find the bathroom crowded with whichever dogs could squeeze their way in, not wanting a wall or a door to separate us from each other.
• Tinkerbelle, the foster who came to stay, is no longer frightened of people, and jumps up five feet to get me to pick her up.
• Tinkerbelle decides other dogs are great fun, dismisses her concern, and races through the house chasing the other Poodles.
• Scooter, the love of my life, nestles against my chest to sleep, and spends night curled up next to me.
• Chelsea, the 4 lb. Toy Poodle, is running with a zest and zeal for life, and typical of Toys, jumps as though she has springs in her back legs. One would never know now that she had two surgeries just a year ago for a fractured hip and foreleg.
• Seamus, our Standard Poodle, is so bonded that he forgets his training by his previous owners, and in his overwhelming joy will grab my hand in his mouth. He runs around with a goofy SP grin, delighted to have a home of his own, plenty of toys and tennis balls.
• Baby Chloe, AKA Chloe Monster or Chloester, does zoomies at 5:30 a.m., racing from the couch to the bedroom, around and around the circular walkway between the kitchen and living room, and then comes up to me with her big black eyes, longing for me to hug her and pick her up.
• Abner & Coral, my precious Goldens, swimming in the pool, no matter the temperature outside or in the water!
• Coral, holding two tennis balls in her mouth, comes and nudge-noses me, just wanting her face petted.
• Abner, rubbing up against me and between my legs when I come home from work. Abner, moaning and groaning in delight as I scratch his ears.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE!

I shouldn’t have done it. I really, REALLY shouldn’t have done it.

But I did. I ordered cute letter stickers, return address labels, with little gif images of all of seven of my dogs. The only problem is….now….it looks like I may have EIGHT.

Yup, 8 dogs. Tinkerbelle, a 7 lb Toy Poodle, was adopted on December 30^th and returned on New Year’s Day. I didn’t have the heart to stick her back in the kennel, and I had another possible home lined up for her. Jeremy was REALLY against putting her back in her run, as she was an absolute nightmare to bathe. I have to say, she was a nightmare to groom too – a three person job. Did I mention that she doesn’t like to be TOUCHED in certain areas? She yelps when you touch parts of her body that she PERCEIVES as painful. Okay, so she’s not much an adoption candidate. I talked to the runner up for her and told this nice lady this is really not the dog for you. She’s not a dog for anyone.

Except none of us can bring ourselves to put her to sleep. Ed was actually the one that suggested she stay with us. Tinks had been acting out towards our other dogs so he wanted to give it a week, but in the last couple of days she’s been tolerating them being near her, and even played with Chloe a couple of times yesterday. She loves to play with people and will roll over on her back just to lounge next to you. The last week she’d been literally glued to Jeremy, and it appeared she literally thought her little would end if he was out of her sight. Well, yesterday Jeremy went with Ed to town, so Tinkerbelle was with me all day. By nighttime when Jeremy returned she decided she’d sit with ME on MY chair instead of with Jer on the couch, lol! I think she will be okay. Tinkerbelle really is a cutie - loves to jump, jump, jump, loves to play with toys, and is HOUSEBROKEN! A big plus!

On other fronts, things appear significantly better at work. C, our new CEO, started today. My stress is significantly reduced with minimized Board contact (I think they've pretty much dismissed me), and I am no longer responsible for Hospice either (another source of conflict eliminated!). So.....we'll see how things go, but it's looking considerably better at this time.

December stuff

Last weekend was rather interesting. I spent 9 hours grooming 5 Poodles on Saturday, and then got a call from our professional photographer who wanted to cancel Sunday's appointment due to the rain. :-( Reluctantly, I agreed as we ended up with quite a downpour. However, Sunday ended up being beautiful, and we had Peter snap a few photos of us with the pack of Poos and Goldens. I used this picture to mail out Christmas cards.

Chloe and I started agility training on Friday. It was a lot of fun, although it was COLD - 45F outside. Chloe really enjoyed herself, especially getting hotdog treats, lol!

Things at work are settling down somewhat. The Board considered my suggestion for the CEO, CW, and she will be starting on January 14th. In the meantime, I have learned soooooo very much from this huge ordeal.

1. Never try to predict someone's behavior. At best it is simply a guess. Certainly don't bank on a given response.
2. Even when it is going to be deleterious to someone, follow the rules.
   
3. Don't take what happens at work so personally. Don't expect praise from the Board, and don't get disappointed if they seem to be displeased or if I don't get the kudos I think I deserve.
4. Derive value and pleasure from the things that matter most in life - my family and my home life. I have value outside of work.

Life is good. I feel like I have grown immensely and things can only get better from here.

My life is a soap opera

The other evening as I was talking about work, Jeremy compared my current life to a soap opera. He was entirely right and it's only getting worse!

The good news, I guess, is that I've decided to stay and not change jobs. G was thrilled to hear that as they were worried both P & I would be gone before a new CEO was hired. I have been looking at various opportunities, and in the short term we could pull off a salary decrease, but the long-term impact is enormous as it would take quite a while to get up to my current pay level. In addition, there really isn't anything even remotely comparable locally at the present time, so I'd have to commute - YUCK! So - I emailed the Exec Committee and let them know of my decision. So far only G has emailed back a response.

Now, today rumors were going around that I had accepted a job at S.G. hospital and was starting December 10th. It is actually P that has applied for a Director of HR position and has a second interview tomorrow. One of our former employees has been spreading this around, as she works at SG and is probably involved in the interview process. However, she just has the person wrong. Again, a SOAP OPERA, and I HATE DRAMA!

On a positive note, Chloe and I starting agility next week Friday. Yippee! And this weekend we are putting up the Christmas tree. The following weekend I have a professional photographer coming who will be doing a family portrait of us with all seven dogs. I have wanted this for so long, and will be so great to have a real quality, in-home photograph.

Work, family, life!

I've included this picture of "THE BUG" as it shows just how much he loves his Mommy, and my feelings toward him are equal. THE WORLD IS FINE SO LONG AS I HAVE MY BUG!!!!!

To say the month of November has been trying is an understatement. P & I had approached M about her performance issues and offered her a business development position. She was actually considering it, and asked us to inform the Board that due to her health she would not be returning to an E.D. position. Well, she changed her mind but DID NOT TELL US! She had a staff member tell a Board member, and an investigation ensued. The Board says they concur with our concerns regarding the significant performance issues, but they are allowing her to return to an E.D. position. This whole process has been one big emotional roller coaster. At first the Board was upset that we had handled this without their input, then they felt we were attacking her. After that was resolved, I thought for sure they would only offer her the B.D. role we had approached her with. Oh no....now they are going to take her back. Needless to say, I cannot stay at the Agency. After twelve years, I am looking for a new job. I have two interviews scheduled - one with HealthNet on Wednesday and one with Heartland on Friday. I also have applications in with other companies and am in contact with a couple different recruiters. We'll see what happens.

In the meantime, I took last week (Thanksgiving week) off in order to spend time with Ed who was also taking PTO. We decided it felt more like a honeymoon than a vacation - we really enjoyed it. I did a lot of soul searching, and after looking at our budget I decided I need to make sure whatever position I go after, it's one that I WANT, that doesn't entail extensive driving, and that meets our needs financially.

As Thanksgiving week concluded, I have given thanks for all that we are blessed with. While almost all facets of my life have changed, the most important thing is intact - my FAMILY! I have the best husband, a wonderful son, great canine children, and all that makes for a perfect home life. When everything is said and done, that's what life is all about.

The DECISION! - for real!

I woke up this morning completely exhausted. Our original plans to take all five Poodles to Helen Woodward's annual dog walk suddenly sounded abhorrent. I only wanted to go back to bed after taking the dogs potty, and had no desire to leave the house. I know, though, Ed wouldn't want to stay home and the dogs would certainly enjoy it. So, off we went and had a wonderful time. The weather was perfect and the dogs were so well behaved. We found an agility set up and got to see how Chloe would do. With just a bit of coaxing, she went through the shoot, over the jump and through the hoop. I am really going to try and get her into an agility class, or take private lessons. After the dog walk, we meandered down to La Jolla and strolled into Muttropolis, where we found a GREAT new stroller for the pooches. It's larger than the fold-up we were using, and RED instead of that silly pink. Scooter, Chelsea AND Chloe all fit in it, although Chloe also enjoys walking on the leash too. It has a single front wheel and maneuvers MUCH better than the other one. I am happy with my new find!

Okay, my other news - the DECISION! I have decided, once and for all, I am done, done, done with rescue. In fact, I have an adoption tomorrow and I can't even bring myself to do it. Ed & Jeremy are going for me. After thinking about this and praying for months, it just came to me yesterday when I was talking to Pam. I was mentioning that I was debating between dramatically cutting back (1-2 dogs) or just closing down altogether. She reminded me that there is no way I am going to be able to restrain myself to just a couple of dogs, that I'd feel guilty and would soon be back up to where I am now - ten dogs. By the end of the day I knew what my decision was. I am so very relieved and know it is the right thing.

Things at work are interesting to say the least. It was an incredibly difficult week, one of the more challenging we've had in the last year. I had offended the Hospice managers by their perception of 'micromanaging'. They were adamant about the promotion of a particular nurse, and the Business Development Team was just as strongly opposed. Pam was also very much against it. In the end, we did the right thing - put the nurse in the position and will hope for the best. We had a very fitting ending to the week when G, our board chair, called to say that one of the board members heard that Pam & I were "forcing" M out of her position. Thank goodness G called us first so we could give him the history and inform him that our action was based upon direction by the chair of the QI committee.... Still, M will be mortified as G feels he needs to call her to investigate, and it is nerve wracking for us as it just opens the door for misinformation to be shared. I am just going to be praying and trusting all will go well and that our integrity in all matters will shine through. The very good news is that the Board seems to be pleased with our performance despite three horrible months with financials in the red and other serious issues. Incredible. I guess we are doing better about informing them and providing the info they need to demonstrate we are considering all angles.